Quickest of updates - I will elaborate in a little post later:
-I took the zoloft last night, because I cannot stand the physical symptoms of not taking it. I threw up several times last night. I hate throwing up. I hadn't thrown up since... middle school?
-I need nutrients. I've had very little to eat in the last couple of days, but the thought of food makes me want to throw up. So I'm kind of in a catch 22.
-Besides the nausea and the lack of food, I had a really nice "self-indulgent" day yesterday, where I didn't feel so down and bad about myself. I shopped, got a manicure, got a hair cut, met up with 3 friends, and cancelled all my tutoring sessions just so I could feel "rejuvinated."
-Jane told me I am like how I was in August. She asked me to come back on Wednesday, and she'd like to call my parents.
-I do feel motivated now to take care of myself, to eat well. I do feel like I am coming out of the "funk." I really do.
-I wish I didn't have to go to work today, and I could stay home on the couch, under covers. If I throw up at work, I will leave early.
-Suavecito wants to go on a date tonight, but I really don't want to. I just don't feel well. I'd rather go on a date with him in a day or two... I suppose I could tell him this, but I have a hard time admitting to people when I don't feel well....
Tell him "sorry I'm not felling well." He will understand.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your not feeling well. I do want you to listen to Jane and (this is not an ed thing at all) eat more. When you're sick you need to eat, proper nutrition will help you get better faster.
Oh and if your not eating cause of ED "SMACK".
Eating Alone gives good advice :-)
ReplyDeleteHe will understand, and you need to look after yourself. Feeling unwell sucks, even more so when you're trying to recover from an eating disorder. But this doesn't have to get the better of you. Try to eat what you can, because your body needs as much energy as it can to get better.
Being ill makes the eating part a bit harder, but stick with it, your body will thank you for it.
Feel-better-soon-hugs
Sarah x
I agree you should tell him too. Though I am probably saying this too late, timezone and all, you know! I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. Going off of anti-d's cold turkey is not a good idea. If you truely want off them you need taper the dose down and it needs to be medically supervised in case you have any unwanted reactions. Eating will help but I know you know that, so I won't harp on about it. Please take care of yourself Laura and be gentle with yourself!
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Sarah
you may be struggling like you were last fall, but remember, you pulled out of it then, and you will again! Trust your team and accept the extra help :)
ReplyDeleteI hope that Jane can help you pull out of this funk and I'm glad you're feeling a big more positive despite the yucky physical stuff you're dealing with. I have come off of Zoloft before- and just let me say, if you are determined to do it, taper off VERY slowly or it is hell (as you have obviously already discovered).
ReplyDelete