A nice day

Before I begin: Let me say THANK YOU. Thank you for sharing your stories with me in the comment section of my last post. Thank you for validating my feelings, for telling me I'm not a freak, for making me not feel so different. Seriously... thank you. It is something I have to work on... I do have to consciously try to not shut down and run away from people, but it's good to know that other people have experienced this kind of "freeze, run away" feeling and overcome it. You have no idea how helpful all of your comments were. I read my comments with my mouth hanging wide open... I was so grateful for your advice, insight, wisdom. Thank you, thank you, thank you SO, SO MUCH. Each and every one of you. THANK YOU.

I had a nice day with my friend Will. He's a newish friend. We met at a tea cafe, then walked around a downtown area, and ended up in a bookstore. Will and I can just talk and talk and talk.... As you can probably tell by the length of my posts, I am a talkative person. So is he. So, today, the conversation flowed for a good 4 hours until we suddenly both glanced at the time and said, "Oh! Shoot! Have to go!" He is super into juggling and circus stuff, so I listen to him talk about his circus adventures. We talked about traveling - greece particularly. We talked about chess and back gammon (sp?) and religion. We talked about riddles and siblings, coffee and tea, the internet, the information age, Descartes and other philosophers, neuroscience, psychology, what it's like to be a barista, what it's like to be a tutor (we know each other from work). It was nice to have an afternoon of free-flowing conversation, tea and books, strolling downtown, and, as usual, really nice weather.

After being with Will, I met up with Nicole for dinner. Italian. I ordered a mini margarita pizza. As I was eating one of the slices, I accidentally on purpose scooted off all of the cheese. Nicole says, "Are you okay?" (Meaning she wondered if I was having an internal eating disordered freak out over pizza) I said, "yeah i'm fine, but thanks for asking." And I was okay for the most part. I guess I was trying to get some of the cheese off on purpose, but my anxiety levels were not raised or anything.''

Anyway, dinner was nice with Nicole. We mostly talked about her kids (she's a first grade teacher. So, by "kids" I mean students.) She has some kids doing so well! I'm so proud of her! We also talked about a friend of hers (and who I also know). We talked a bit about dating. WE talked about her plans for next year.

You know what I really appreciate? THE LACK OF THE SUNDAY DREAD. When you'er a teacher, Sunday is not really a weekend. It's the day spent making sure everything is ready to go for the upcoming week. I am so glad that my Sunday's are just... Sunday's... they're just relax days. I do not take this for granted.

I'll admit my eating was off today - as in, I didn't eat anything except dinner (which was a thin crust, personal-sized margharita pizza). (yesterday my eating was really good though.. the best it's been in weeks. Due to feeling really, really, really dizzy all week, I was pretty much only eating one thing a day... but yesterday, I didn't feel dizzy, and I finally had my appetite back for the first time in a while). I don't really know why I ate so poorly today. It didn't feel like an eating disordered thing, it just felt like.. a... I dunno... that's what happens when I don't keep tabs on myself I guess. Guess I have to keep tabs on myself. Because skipping meals like I did today is like playing with fire. It risks setting up a precedent to always delay eating, and that is NOT how I want to eat. So, I don't' feel off track... I'm not at all resistant to eating tomorrow.... just gotta keep the tabs on myself. Tomorrow I will make sure I eat in a rhythm.

I came home, paid a lot of bills, did a lot of laundry, and now I'm about to watch this week's Grey's.

Things I'm looking forward to tomorrow:
-Brunch with Friend (My weekend is Sun, Monday)
-Jane's appointment