Dating and a Date

So... Dating.

I have exTREMEly limited experience with it.

I do not develop crushes easily.

I have never been in a relationship.

I don't flirt (on purpose... I do on accident, though, which tends to lead guys on).

I don't really date.

But, as you all know, I'm interested in dating.

The idea of having a "good male friend" (Tracy's words) sounds nice.

I'm 25. I want to learn how to date.

I'm interested in the end result - a comfortable relationship.

But I'm just not so keen on going through the discomfort to get there.

So I wonder.

Does the dating journey have to be full of discomfort?

If you are full of discomfort, is this just a sign it's not the right person?

And the word dating.

It's strange.

I react badly to the idea of "Dating"

I feel out of control

and

really

really

really

scared.

I feel pressured to decide if I'm "interested" quickly.

And what if I need time to know?

What do I do in the meantime - while I'm figuring it out?

If I keep dating the guy, is that leading him on?

If I keep dating the guy, is that forcing myself to do something I don't want to do?

If I keep dating the guy, is that the right thing?

People keep saying that, when the guy is right, I won't need to answer these questions.

I had gotten a little "dating burnout"

I had decided I dislike dating.

I want to like dating.... but I don't.

I want to date.... but I can't.

So I hadn't signed onto Match.com in over 3 weeks.

Suavecito.

I'm going to tell him I'm not interested in anything more than friendship.

I have not answered his call twice now.

But I need to suck it up and tell him.

On a different note...

I had found myself thinking about a guy that I went on one date with (I called him Grass Frolicker in one of the earlier posts) over the course of the last few weeks.

So, last night, I signed onto Match.com, emailed him, apologizing for never responding to his request for a 2nd date, and asked if he wanted to meet up. He suggested dinner tonight.

So, I met him at a great restaurant (organic, casual, salads and soups primarily) tonight. Then we walked to get frozen yogurt and shared one.

I had a very nice time with him.

I liked that there was a friendly, low-stress attraction.

I am attracted to him.

He showed affection without being scary.

He would touch my arm a couple of times, and leave his hand there a bit longer than necessary, and then back away.

At one point, I was really cold - my hands were literally blue - he noticed - and my teeth were chattering. He rubbed my back, but didn't go all crazy huggy on me... And I liked the space he gave me.

He let me know he was interested without coming on too strongly.

Being with him tonight was not intimidating.

It was just like... flirtatious friends.

We made plans to go to the Computer History Museum together soon.

So, I'm honestly looking forward to that.

We'll see.

On a totally different note..

I interviewed a guy for a position at my company.

And he just wrote me an official "thank you" follow up email.

Then he wrote me another email that ssaid, "On a less professional note, can I take you out for a drink?"

WTF?!

REALLY?

REALLY?

DID HE REALLY JUST ASK OUT THE PERSON WHO INTERVIEWED HIM?

UM... guess who isn't getting the job!!!

ok, off to bed.