Decent Day 49 + Willow's Food

DECENT DAY 49's FOOD
B: one packet oatmeal with 1/2 spoonful of cocoa poweder (hi, Sarah!)
L: sun dried tomato chicken sausage + 10 oz (about) low-fat split pea soup
D: 3 banana-nut pancakes with some powdered sugar on top (they all fit on one dinner plate, just slightly overlapping)

I had planned to run 3 miles today, but I didn't, because, simply, I didn't feel like it.

THOUGHTS:
The good of today: 3 meals, no noticeable anxiety, no guilt, chose foods I craved, no calorie counting until the end. Was not at all thinking about food all day long. Felt normal.

Things I could improve on: I need to continue to work on trusting my body's hunger signals and not relying on calories as a guide. I think I was totally out of touch with my hunger today for some reason. In the afternoon all the way until 8pm, I had the worst stomach ache ever! I thought it would be made worse by eating. For whatever reason, I really was craving pancakes though. I thought if I ate, my stomach would hurt more, so I just wasn't eating. At 8pm, I counted my calories for the day: xxx. Oh. Wow. I didn't realize it was so low. Maybe I am hungry? MAybe I feel bad because I need food? I wanted to make pancakes, but I didn't know the calories of them. I realized, though, that even if I ate 1200 calories in pancakes, I still would not have had too many calories. So, I made pancakes. I ate three normal sized/large-ish pancakes. Actually, they couldn't be that large because they all fit on a dinner plate, just slightly overlapping in the center. The recipe I used did not come with nutrition facts. I also added banana and nuts and topped them all with a tiny bit of powdered sugar. And, after starting to eat, I felt better. By the time I finished, I had less of a stomach ache. In fact, now that I ate, I feel a lot better! Go figure. I am not at all overly full.

So Tracy and I made a goal today to trust my body more and not rely on calories. I did not meet this goal today at all! Because it took me counting the calories to be able to acknowledge my hunger. That shouldn't have to happen. I'll keep working on it.

Willow's Food
BREAKFAST:
-7-oz package of Greek Fage yogurt w/ honey
-tea with milk and sugar

MID-MORNING:
-black coffee (the chocolate truffle kind, which, btw, is made by Godiva and comes from Stop 'n Shop)

LUNCH:
-cup of corn chowder
-small caesar side salad
-small cajun salmon wrap

(My - Laura's - note: Small is relative. What is Small to her might be Big or normal to you)

DINNER:
-2 pieces of pizza
-medium-sized plate of salad (lettuce and tomato, lightly dressed with balsamic vinagrette)
-4 pieces of chocolate (they're homemade chocolates from this german candy store, but i guess each one would be the equivalent of a chocolate kiss)
-small glass of red wine

SNACK:
-2 pieces of bread w/ PB and honey

ANOTHER SNACK
-small bowl of cereal (granola and kashi go lean crunch and fiber one mixed) + milk

I have sent Willow my food diary once before, and I sent her the most recent one (she actually asked for it. She's interested in all of this stuff). And this is what she wrote me:

Hey there -

First of all, I hope that by the time you read this, you'll have gotten your car fixed and that your stomach ache is gone! I feel like you're getting a totally un-called-for amount of bad luck at the moment!

Secondly, I think your food diary looks really good. Seriously -- I'm so proud of you. Your meals seemed way more balanced than in the last food diary you sent me. Sounded like you had a lot of good variety -- and that they were things that you enjoyed. Yay! There were a few days where you had a meal that didn't sound like enough food. But it didn't seem like an ongoing pattern -- and more importantly, I think you identified them yourself. Which means you're getting a sense of what is "normal." Which is great!

As to some of thing things you were wondering in your "thoughts" section:

1. I don't think you're eating too much. Honestly, it sounds like you're eating a really healthy amount. The few times where you had meals that seemed really big to you -- first of all, they weren't *that* big, and secondly, you do a lot of exercise, and thirdly, you had other days that were definitely on the light side. Again, one big meal is never something to worry about.

2. Too much PB? Maybe I'm a bad person to ask, b/c I go through a jar of it pretty much each week. But I don't think that's necessarily bad. Nuts are a healthy form of protein, so I think it's OK. I don't think you should double amount of PB you're eating, but I think the level it's at is totally fine.

3. Eating when you're only a little hungry: That's what normal people do. First of all, like you said, it's better to eat when you're just a little hungry b/c then you won't be starving later and risk binging and feeling bad about yourself. Secondly, it's just ... normal to eat at normal times.

4. It's good that things are feeling normal and good! That doesn't have to mean you're doing something wrong!!!

5. I'm really happy that the night when you went to bed hungry you got back up and ate a snack. Go you!

6. Olive oil is good for you. Like, you don't want to eat buckets of it, but plant oils are actually really good for the body. They make your digestive system work right, and they make your hair silky, and they do something good for your skin too, I think. Don't be afraid of olive oil at Indian restaurants. They know what they're doing. Seriously. Nobody in India is fat.

So .... yeah, I think you're doing really well. Keep enjoying it. Keep up the good work.

love,
w.

Aren't I totally spoiled by an awesome friend?! Aren't I lucky she can tolerate this and that she's interested in it!