Day off # 8 - breakfast

• Now that I'm IOP, Tuesdays is an additional Day off. Tuesdays and Sundays = no program.
• Used the index card thing for selecting my breakfast (2 tbspn PB on 1 slice cin. raisin toast + an apple)
• I so badly want the head chatter to stop! I want the #s to stop running through my head while eating breakfast, I want to stop cal counting the day while eating breakfast. I want to stop THINKING SO MUCH about how to eat. When I'm not just served the food, the head chatter gets so loud. The only way to make the head chatter shut up is to just not eat - b/c then there's nothing to chat on about. But, that's not an option. I just want the head noise to go away.. I don't know how to eat the mp without head noise though... so, press on, press on...
• As the head chatter was going on, I just kept telling myself to take my focus/energy away from my brain and put it into my body. If I let my body speak, it was enjoying breakfast and the breakfast felt good. I tried to just acknowledge that there is some anxiety that comes with eating the entire mp today... but I'm going to do it b/c I want to know that my body can handle all of that food, because I want to know I can learn to eat everything that is "normal" without so much thinking - and the only way to get there is to do it. i want to be one of those people who eats, enjoys it, and then moves on - and the only way to get there is to do it. Plus, I'm afriad of what happens when I stop eating.... so the only way to avoid that is to eat. So, I just tried to focus on enjoying the taste and putting my energy towards my body.
• My mind might have broken lots of rules this morning when I ate a 400 cal breakfast, but my body didn't break any rules. My body feels good. It's hard to believe my body feels good eating this, but it does. The goal is: ID who is talking - body or mind. The part of me that worries a/b breakfast, lunch, etc... that's the mind talking. And when it comes to food, I want my body to talk. And my body had no problem with breakfast - so I'm leaving it at that.
• My mind cannot believe that eating that breakfast actually feels good! My mind can't get over this! But my body doesn't have rules like my mind does. So... the goal is to let my body call the shots. The only way to do that is to practice doing that.
• Can I stop overthinking now and just settle into the fact that it tasted good and my body is happy? Yes. Yeah, I think I can do that...

ok, off to do "Easy Flow" yoga with my mama